The White Rose Of Yorkshire

ShAFF - Sheffield Adventure Film Festival 2008: Feb 29th - March 2nd

2008-02-04T16:49:00.002Z

Hi everyone. Coming up at the end of this month is yet another Sheffield film festival, hot on the heels of one of the most successful international doc/fests in the world, the Sheffield International Documentary Film Festival.

This film fest is adventure films though, and it's going to be good. Now in its 3rd year, the festival aims to bring together the best of the films from this year's festivals. Some of the films are being premiered at ShAFF, some are already available on DVD. The point is though, to watch them on a big silver screen and in between films have a laugh (or as I call it, "network") in the bar of The Showroom, Sheffield's leading indy cinema which also plays host to Sheff doc/fest.

The films have been cleverly organised into different sections so that you can watch several films in similar genres back to back on one ticket, in categories such as "Inspiring Women" (a subject after my own heart, being one myself, wink), "Culture & Adventure 1" and "Adrenaline Junkies 2".

Besides the climbing, mountaineering, kayaking, skiiing, snowboarding, surfing, trekking, mountain biking and environmental films are also gems such as the following:

Journey To The Edge - World Premiere

Adventure / Snowboarding - 45 mins

Part one of a flagship 6 part series commissioned by new channel Virgin One. In a thrilling global journey, Leo Houlding and five people seeking to change their lives by trying out some of the world's toughest tribal rites of passage, taking in some adrenaline thrills along the way.

Part of Adrenaline Junkies 2

9:00pm - Sat 1st Mar - Showroom Screen 2
7:00pm - Sun 2nd Mar - Showroom Screen 1

Anything with Leo in it is worth watching, he's not only one of the world's top climbers, he's also one of the loveliest (and coolest, if being cool is still cool nowadays) blokes I've ever met. If you missed Leo and Tim Emmett on British car programme Top Gear, then check it out below. They're speed climbing a route in the Verdon Gorge in the South of France whilst sweet and cuddly Jeremy Clarkson races them up one of the most treacherous roads in Europe in an Audi RS4.

Jezza: "I will not be beaten by two adrenaline junkies who call each other dude."

(cue Jeremy Clarkson drumroll voice...) But he is.

Then Leo base jumps off the top of the top of the Verdon Gorge and lands at the bottom chuckling, "Ha ha! Twelve hundred feet in twenty seconds! Beat that, Clarkson!"

Pure class.

The very best Top Gear ever imo including the one with the Bowler Wildcat (my dream car.)

Below: Leo and Tim at the Verdon Gorge on Top Gear:

Below: Whilst we're on the subject, the Bowler Wildcat on Top Gear:

Back to ShaFF (you're getting the idea now, right?)

20 Seconds of Joy

BASE Jumping / Adventure / Air Sports - 60 mins

I don't want to die, I want to live. I'm pretty good at running away, and this is my escape. Documentary filmmaker Jens Hoffman accompanies Norwegian BASE jumper Karina Hollekim over a period of years until things come to a sudden stop and her life is forever changed.

Awards
Best Film on Mountain Sport - Banff 2007 People's Choice - Banff 2007

Part of Inspiring Women
11:00am - Sat 1st Mar - Showroom Screen 1
11:00am - Sun 2nd Mar - Showroom Screen 1

Part of Best Of Banff 1
5:00pm - Sat 1st Mar - Showroom Screen 2

Urban Freestyler - Free Running - World Premiere

Parkour / Free-running - 5 mins

Urban free running on the streets of London with Ryan Doyle

Part of Adrenaline Junkies 1
9:00pm - Fri 29th Feb - Showroom Screen 2
7:00pm - Sat 1st Mar - Showroom Screen 1

Inner Balance

Unicycling - 5 mins

Inner Balance features some of the top unicycle riders from Canada, USA, New Zealand, and Australia. They take unicycling to the next level with amazing drops and trials riding in a massive indoor bike park. You won’t believe what’s possible on a unicycle.

Part of Best Of Banff 1
5:00pm - Sat 1st Mar - Showroom Screen 2

Climber

Climbing - 2 mins

An alpinist is climbing a difficult mountain, the D'naurco, and every step is getting heavier and every breath is getting thinner. He will have to face his fears before he can face the mountain.

Awards
2nd place BC Student Film Festival in Vancouver in 2006

Part of Culture & Adventure 1
9:00pm - Fri 29th Feb - Showroom Screen 1
3:00pm - Sat 1st Mar - Showroom Screen 1

Besides the films, on 1st March, writer and photographer Gordon Stainforth will be interviewing author and mountaineer Joe Simpson (who wrote the international best-seller Touching The Void.) This proves to be an interesting combination. I know both of them, and they're both highly intelligent, polished professionals... yet curmudgeonly in the extreme. Bring it on, boys.

The full listing of films is here.

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Coming up as soon as I get a whole day off to write it: Backstage with the inimitable Gavin Clark on the UNKLE tour.

The Beckoning Silence by Joe Simpson

2007-10-23T11:04:00.001Z

Many of you will have heard of Sheffield author Joe Simpson. His book Touching The Void, about his and Simon Yates' first ascent of Siula Grande in the Andes, and what transpired during the descent, an experience Joe calls "an incredible mountaineering cock-up", has sold more than one and half million copies and been translated into 20 languages.

The classy but unofficial promotional poster for Touching The Void. Photograph of Joe on the 1st ascent of the West Face, Siula Grande, 1985 by Simon Yates.

The docu-drama of Touching The Void, produced by Darlow-Smithson productions, has become the most recognised theatrical documentary film of all time, winning more than 25 international awards.

Earlier this year, Joe went to the Eiger to film another Darlow-Smithson docu-drama, this time of his book The Beckoning Silence, which tells of the tragic attempt on the north face of the Eiger in 1936 by a team of German climbers. Their story was first told in Heinrich Harrer's seminal work in the history of mountaineering literature, The White Spider, and it was reading about Toni Kurz's horrific death whilst suspended on the end of a rope that first inspired Joe to climb.

Fritz Kasparek and author/mountaineer Heinrich Harrer during the first successful ascent of the north face of the Eiger in 1938

The irony of this, considering Joe's fate on Siula Grande, is something that has clearly left a deep impression on Joe, as he describes in both his book, and the film The Beckoning Silence, which was premiered last night on Channel 4.

Like Touching The Void it's a really beautiful docco with some stunning camerawork, spot on editing, understated and highly competent directing, tight narrative structure and with some great acting from the climbers reconstructing the summit attempt. And Joe is at his absolute best talking to camera with heartfelt emotion about Toni Kurz's struggle for survival.

The Beckoning Silence will be screened at The Kendal Mountain Film Festival on the morning of Saturday 17th November, after which Joe, along with director Louise Osmond, producer John Smithson, cameraman Keith Partridge and logistic manager Brian Hall, will be present for an audience Q & A.

During location shooting at the Eiger back in April, Joe wrote a diary which you can read on his official site. It's well worth a read, typically curmudgeonly, self-deprecating and sensitive all at the same time.

Above: Joe at the Kendal Film Festival, by Susanna Howe

Joe Simpson is someone who has my deepest respect. When I first read The Beckoning Silence it had a deep impact on me; I have never had a love affair with climbing, merely a tentative dalliance, but Joe's description of climbers and climbing strikes deep chords of emotion in anyone with a heart. He is a terrific writer and wonderful person, unspoilt by success. Joe's full catalogue of work in print is here.

Above: Joe shooting "A Final Chance to Save - Gorillas" written and directed by Amelia Hann.

And if you get a chance to see the Tiger Aspect Productions docco he shot on location in the Congo last year as part of the Final Chance to Save series, about the desperate plight of the gorillas in the region, then take that chance, because it's a heartwarming documentary brilliantly presented by Joe with the same degree of self-deprecating panache and humour as the legendary Sheffield writer and broacaster, Michael Pali n.

Above: Joe rock climbing.

Further reading:

Profile of Joe in The Independent

Article entitled "Stay off North Face of the Eiger, climbers warned - it's melting" from The Telegraph

BBC article "Eiger's grim reputation."

No Ordinary Joe official site with up to date news and an active, friendly forum.

Above: Joe Simpson.

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Runaway Girl Wins Best Bar Food at Sheff Bar & Club Awards

2007-10-16T14:03:00.001Z

Winners of the Best Bar Food, L to R: Sous Chef Jonil Xhaja and Head Chef Richie Russell.

I'm sure that everyone reading this will at some point in their lives dined out at a restaurant, so we all know what that's like.

Ever worked a restaurant kitchen? Know what that's like? Well I have, and I can tell you it's fookin hard work and total fruit loops barely controlled mayhem. Talk about focus and concentration; it makes being a writer of best selling literary fiction (me...apart from the best selling bit...or even published bit) look like a piece of piss.

Being a chef is also very sexy and totally Rock 'n' Roll, as a few of us have known for yonks, long before all the tele chefs came along, way back in the 80s when tales of Marco Pierre White's antics filtered through the elite strands of London's clubland and us gals drooled at the prospect of being whisked up to his office for a quick game of hide the salami. Why I never went to Harveys in the 80s I'll never know (probably because I was always skint) as it was only round the corner from me in sarf London at the time.

Where were we? Oh yes, extolling the virtues of chefs. Well, the other week, my partner Brian and I dined at Runaway Girl for the first time, and I can honestly say that the food we had was right up there with the best I've ever eaten out in Sheffield. We had a selection of tapas, and it was all done to perfection. The pan fried duck in mushrooms and a tangy red wine sauce was absolutely divine. Working out exactly how Chef Russell has achieved this has been driving me bonkers, because it's not a sauce buerre rouge, I suspect it's a basic veloute, but it was very rich and totally melted on the tongue.

Well, maybe I'll manage to charm the secret out of him, for yesterday I went along to the Runaway Girl for a photo session with the chefs, after Runaway Girl won Best Bar Food at last week's innaugral 2007 Sheffield Bar and Club Awards.

Here's Chef Russell carving the Jamón Serrano.

And again. Well 'ard.

Not the meat. I mean, the rufty tufty carving action. I tasted the meat and it was as tender and succulent as I remember it from my years in Spain.

And here are the chefs messing around after another gruelling service.

That Wanted poster isn't real, silly. It's just me messing around. If you click on the pic you can see a big version. Note the price on his head and his come hither "Nuts" pose. Chefs are just wonderful, aren't they? :)

Here's Runaway Girl's owner, Justin Rowntree, pretending to be a sound engineer.

The real sound engineer, Scraga (aka Neil.)

Congratulations to all at Runaway Girl for this award. It is very well deserved.

Regarding Marco Pierre White, you can buy his autobiography "Devil in the Kitchen" here. Bearing in mind that it's ghost written, so it ain't no David Niven "The Moon's A Balloon", it is still a fabulously entertaining book, and I still maintain having read it that Marco is a decent guy.

And here's Marco Pierre White's flashtastic Country Inns site which I regularly visit in my tea break because it's such a beautifully designed piece of classic Flash kitsch.

To finish off, here's my favourite quote from one of my favourite movies, This is Spinal Tap.

True Rock 'n' Roll chefs, like Marco and Richie Russell, go up to eleven.

Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.

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Runaway Girl Menu:

Food Served

12.00 pm – 2.00 pm Monday to Friday

5.00 pm – 9.00 pm Monday to Friday

6.00 pm – 9.00 pm Saturday

Lunchtime & Early Evening Offer

· Available 12.00 pm – 2.00 pm and 5.00 pm – 7.00 pm Monday to Friday

· 2 of any of the selected tapas (see all marked*) + a soft drink for just £5.00

· 3 of any of the selected tapas (see all marked*) + soft drink, £7.00

· And for just £1.00 you can replace the soft drink with a selected beer or a small glass of wine!

The Runaway Girl Menu

Grilled Rabbit -This classic and simple Spanish dish served with our own aioli is a must! £4.50

Lamb with Red Pepper & Olive Paté - thinly sliced marinated leg of lamb, flash grilled and topped with our own fresh tapenade £4.65

Pan Fried Duck with mushrooms in a tangy red wine sauce £4.55

Black Pudding, Broad Beans and Chorizo – pan fried with onions £4.35

Meatballs – Chefs own recipe; in a rich tomato frito sauce £4.25 *

Fillet Grills – Marinated fillet of beef, flash-grilled served on toasted Tuscan bread £3.95

Fillet Grills with Jamon – Marinated fillet of beef, flash-grilled served on toasted Tuscan bread with Spanish cured ham £4.35

Fillet Grills with Chorizo – Marinated fillet of beef, flash-grilled served on toasted Tuscan bread + Chorizo £4.35

Fillet Grills with Smoked Cheese – Marinated fillet of beef, flash-grilled served on toasted Tuscan bread Spanish Idiazábal cheese £4.35

Chicken Grills - Marinated chicken breast, flash-grilled on toasted Tuscan bread £3.75 *

Chicken Grills with Jamon - Marinated chicken breast, flash-grilled served on toasted Tuscan bread with Spanish cured ham £4.15

Chicken Grills + Chorizo - Marinated chicken breast, flash-grilled served on toasted Tuscan bread + Chorizo £4.15

Chicken Grills with Smoked Cheese- Marinated chicken breast, flash-grilled served on toasted Tuscan bread with grated Spanish Idiazábal cheese £4.15

Chorizo, Manchego Cheese and Herbed Tomato Grills £4.10

Pork Steak – seasoned strip of pork steak with chef's own orange and almond salsa £4.55

Pickled Chilli Peppers with Spanish jamon with, skewered and grilled £3.95 *

Fresh Fish Casserole – inspired by the Spanish cazuela £4.45 *

Garlic King Prawns – Sliced grilled freshwater King Prawns with roasted

garlic and chilli salsa £4.65

Sea Bass – Grilled with caper butter and herbs £4.50

Paella – Using Spanish paella rice with fresh mixed seafood and seasonal vegetables £4.55

Spanish Anchovies – The real, whole marinated "Boquerones" £3.95

Speciality Mahón Cheese & White Asparagus Salad, with marinated

capers & olives (V) £3.95

Grilled Marinated Artichokes – chargrilled and served with roasted red peppers (V) £3.55

Sweet Corn and Spanish Cheese Croquets (V) £3.95

Smoked Spanish ewe's milk cheese, over grilled

fresh asparagus (V) £3.95

Aubergine Wraps - Roast aubergine slices, with spicy Mediterranean vegetable pate and toppedwith Manchego cheese (V) £4.10

Mushroom Casserole – Rich and creamy casserole with lentils and vegetables (V) £3.95 *

Tortilla traditionally made with potatoes and eggs (V) £2.95 *

Chick Pea Salad with fried mixed vegetables blended with a

lemon spiced dressing (V) £2.95*

Cous Cous – seasoned with fresh herbs, raisins, almonds and mixed vegetables (V) £2.85

Roast Mediterranean Vegetables – pan fried with garlic oil and red wine vinegar (V) £3.05 *

Rice with herbs spices and pan fried vegetables (V) £2.15 *

Fried Potatoes with paprika and garlic mayonnaise (V) £2.25 *

Mixed Salad – Lettuce Tomatoes, Cucumber Olives, Artichokes (V) £2.75

Marinated Mixed Olives (V) £1.85 *

Fresh Tuscan Bread (V) £1.55 *

Desserts - £3.50

A selection of 100% organic desserts using the finest ingredients and made locally by our

specialist patisserie. Please ask about today's selection!

Coffees

We use the finest Spanish "Templo" Coffee, rich smooth and strong!

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Beefy's gone missing

2007-09-04T10:01:00.002Z

As many of you will remember, a few months ago we adopted two adolescent cats from an fm (forum member) of Sheffield Forum.

There's a blog article about the cats, who we named Captain Beefheart (Beefy) and Frank Zappa (Zappa) here.

On Friday, August 31st Beefy went missing and he still hasn't shown up. He's got a collar and tag on which are etched his name and address along with our phone number, but so far no-one has called.

We've leaflet dropped the immediate vicinity asking people to search their garages, sheds and greenhouses, and I've put posters up on telegraph poles in our area, plus started a thread on Sheffield Forum and notified various cat charities and the RSPCA.

Last night I lay awake in bed wondering whether I could hire the services of a sniffer dog in case he's stuck in someone's house who has buggered off on holiday, but I think 4 days may be too long to trace his scent. I don't know, I'll have to investigate it.

We only lost our beloved 17 year old cat Barney earlier this year; I feel kind of numb that I'm going through yet another grieving process; maybe numb is the right word, as I've lost so many animals that were dear to me.

Anyway, if you know anything about his disappearance, please contact Brian or me on 0114 258 2585 or 078 5555 7667 .

I know they say never post personal details on the net...yeah yeah yeah well I've been stalked on the net by various people (one who in real life claimed to be my friend!) and I don't give a monkeys; life's too short to worry about losers with too much time on their hands, so if you find Beefy, get in touch!

Above: Beefy announcing his presence to the local bird population.

If you've lost a cat then there is some great advice on the Wizz Catz rescue site here.

Advice from Wizz Catz if your cat goes missing:

Put posters on lamp posts with a colour photo if possible.
Also put the posters up in local vets and shops, post office etc. Maybe offer a reward?

Knock on doors and ask neighbours to check their sheds and garages WHILE YOU WAIT … it's surprising how many people say they will check but as soon as the door is closed they forget. It is recommended to knock on 10 doors either side of your house on both sides of the street.

Put leaflets through other neighbour’s doors asking them to check sheds and garages.

Go out at night when it is quiet and call your cat - keep calling she may be lost and will need to orientate herself to your voice. Walk to the far end of the street first and then as you walk back towards home keep calling - don't call her as you are walking away from your house - you will be taking her in the wrond direction.

In addition, when calling your cat when it’s quiet, listen. She may be locked in somewhere and may cry out to you in response.

Go to your door and keep calling her daily.

Leave the kitchen light on, if that is where your cat usually comes in and out. At night when everyone’s lights will go out, yours will remain on - cats head towards where there is a light.

Ask the local children to look - they are great for knowing all the local hidey-holes and love helping. Also have a word with your local post-person and milk man if there is one that delivers in your area.

Put an advert in the local paper

Contact local RSPCA, Cats Protection and other local rescues, see local list below.

Contact local council in case she has been picked up off the road by them.

DON’T GIVE UP HOPE WE HEAR SOME AMAZING STORIES

RSPCA Sheffield 0114 272 7542 - also see direct link above
RSPCA Bawtry 01302 719790
RSPCA Central 0870 5555 999
Sheffield Cat Shelter 0114 272 4441
Cats Protection- Sheffield North 0114 230 4237
Cats Protection- Chesterfield 01246 279 9163
Thornberry Animal Sanctuary 01909 564 399
Sheffield Council Street Force 0114 273 4567

Many thanks to Wizz Catz for such great advice and information.

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64. The Chef de Pâtisserie / My Seducer of Women Chocolate Tarts

2007-07-13T11:20:00.002Z

N.B. Please vote on the new poll on the left sidebar. I need to show agents how many people read my blog just coz they googled "enormous tits." It's sure to get me a major book deal.

...Coming later today. Once I've made 589 Tandoori chicken salad baguettes, smiled at 322 customers, achieved today's target of making at least 3 of them laugh, and sold out all my chocolate tarts. Yes, it's student-naffing-off-on-hols time again and I'm helping out me mates at their catering place.

And I thought being an undiscovered novelist was hard work, ho ho ho.

More later when I'm in limp lettuce mode...

......tick tock tick tock tick tock more than 24 hours later.....

The Next Day...

Soz I didn't update you last night but I got home in limp lettuce mode (catering is FUCKING HARD WORK!) and Nature Boy threw me over his shoulder and whisked me off to bed for a good old rogering to restore me back to full strength. Which it did. Then he was on Ebay all evening watching a dreamy mountain bike so I couldn't get on the puta. Anyway he won it, there's a good story developing back stage about it and I've thought of a great idea for an article he could write for one of the bike mags.

So...back to tarts.

Above: My chocolate tart for sale in a real life shop not just a pretend Fisher-Price one.

I started cooking when I was thirteen. As we were only allowed a certain amount of sweets a week I figured that I could circumvent this strict rationing by making my own, as sugar was always available in the food cupboard. So I learnt about boiling sugar and started to experiment with making my own lollipops. I never stopped teaching myself about cooking; during my late teens, whilst the other students at Uni were all down the pub, I'd be on my own in my little flat in Manchester, baking. Yeah, I was really wild, me.

The magical alchemy of cooking still fascinates me twenty five years later, but the areas that have always interested me the most are confectionery and pâtisserie. However, I've only ever cooked for family and friends before; never sold my wares.

Far right: My "Seducers." Next to them, "Melissa's Muffins", which are also best-selling crowd pullers.

My mates' catering business, Masterchef, (not the TV programme, which appeared years after this original Masterchef) at the bottom of Staniforth Road in Sheffield, has been established for 25 years but has recently expanded, involving the installation of a big open kitchen viewable by customers, an adjoining cafe and outdoors eating area.

Whilst the students are away, I've agreed to work a couple of days a week, the theory being that by only working part time I'd be able to get straight back into the writing on the second book. I've taken a couple of months out already teaching myself web design and am GAGGING at the bit to get writing again, especially as I've got a right arty farty chapter coming up which I can't wait to get stuck into.

Well of course, it's now that I'm realising that not working in paid employment for 2 years and instead being completely skint and focusing on my writing, was a bloody good idea, because whatever the personal sacrifice, the first book got written and edited. Job's a good 'un.

And being out there in the big wide world again, am I writing during my "spare" three days a week? No I am not. Instead I'm being tossed and turned in the froth and foam of "life", as opposed to being an innocuous amoebic form swimming around at the bottom of the sea, writing.

I'm meant to be talking about tarts, aren't I? Oh yeah, I was having fun writing, then, soz. Right. So. Chocolate tarts. Occasionally Bry (aka Nature Boy) takes samples of my baking into work, and all his colleagues love it. In fact one of them has recently put in a personal request for me to make a cheesecake. I like her, so I'll do it.

So I go into work one day (catering business work) with a big chocolate tart for all the staff to share, and my mates, Pat and John, who run the business, are like, "It's great! Let's sell it!"

So it goes on sale that very day with the name "The Seducer Of Women Chocolate Tart" and it sells out before lunchtime!

Cocky, moi? Before teatime I'd told everyone I knew that being a novelist was for losers, and instead I'd become a Chef de Pâtisserie, including the little cervix thing on top of the â.

The next day, one of the regular customers came back and ordered two slices of tart because, he said with a wink, "It works on men, too." Oooooh! :)

Anyway, next time I was in our local deli, I was yakking about grub (it's called "being a foody") to Darren, the owner, and when I told him the ingredients of the chocolate tart and the shelf life (approx 2 hours from presentation to sell-out) his eyes started sparkling and he said "Can you bring me one?"

So, the next Saturday, my chocolate tart was on sale in one of the poshest delis in Sheffield, Sapore, on Chesterfield Road in Woodseats, where it will be on sale every Saturday morning for the near future if you want to try it. Darren decided to call it "Double Chocolate Tart" and once again, it sold out.

I'm now working on a white chocolate version, but so far I'm hitting problems as white chocolate has very different properties to 75% cocoa solid chocolate so getting the texture right is tricky, but I'm getting there. Bry has wolfed down all the experiments, anyway.

I'm kidding about giving up writing, by the way. How can I give up writing when new material keeps rolling past on the conveyor belt, eh?

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All Photographs by Shannon Molloy.

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We've adopted two cats through Sheffield Forum!

2007-06-22T16:16:00.001Z

NOTE: Click on photos to see a larger version.

Last month, our 17 year old cat Barney died. This was heartbreaking for me, as I've never lived with anyone for so long: family, children, friends or boyfriends. Barney was in many ways my best friend and I adored him. My partner Brian carved a headstone for him and we buried him in our garden; I wrote an obituary for him here on my main blog.

After Barney died, our other cat, Towser, who's 13, became listless, bored, and quite obviously lonely. Towser has never been the only animal in the household - in the past he's lived with two other cats, two dogs and three children. Now all he had was us, and he seemed to be sinking into a state of depression.

So we thought we'd adopt two kittens in order to give him some company. As a long shot, I decided to start a thread on Sheffield Forum in the Sheffield Interest Groups, Sheffield Pet Owners section. It's here.

I posted the thread at ten to nine on a Sunday morning. By ten to two we had two new cats - not exactly kittens; they were nine month old males who needed rehoming, so they're teenagers.

They were originally called Garfield and Casper, but eventually we decided to rename them in order to help them settle in to their new life, so now they're called Captain Beefheart and Frank Zappa, after two of Brian's favourite musicians, or Beefy and Zappy for short.

Several people on the thread at sheffieldforum.co.uk have asked for photos, so I've taken a few to show how they're settling in...

Left, Beefy (formerly Garfield) and right, Zappy (formerly Casper), hiding behind the sofa when they first arrived.

Beefy quickly decided that he wanted to make his nest in the middle of the board game shelf, so we shifted the Top Trumps collection out of the way and put a blanket there for him.

After a few days, Zappa started to play. Here Bry is teasing him with one of my bookmarks.

Beefy got more confident by the day. Here he is pretending the armchair is a lady cat, biting its neck and wiggling his bits around. I didn't realise what was going on at first, ew! LOL :)

Beefy a bit miffed that the lady cat wasn't very responsive.

Zappy after a few days of settling in.

Beefy emerging through the front door of a cardboard box house I made for them.

Zappy reaching out to touch the camera.

Zappy and Beefy in Barney's old chair.

Beefy pulling Bry's climbing guidebooks off the bookshelf...

...then going back for more.

Beefy in the front window, stalking a fly.

Beefy's first venture down the bottom of the garden. As soon as he saw the willow tree he was straight up it. Here, he's about 15 feet off the ground.

...and thinking about going higher.

Beefy, right at the top of the pic, about 30 feet up the tree.

And doing a squirrel leap from the bottom branch.

... back down to the ground after his third trip up the tree.

Beefy sitting on top of one of Bry's mud towers, trying to attract something a bit fitter than our leather armchair.

Bry sitting nearby in the chair he built.

This is Beefy standing up on Barney's gravestone.

As soon as Towser saw this, he ran down the garden and started approaching Beefy. Here Beefy has just noticed Towser. Up until now, he had hissed at Towser every time Towser came near.

But here, they have their first ever hiss-free friendly greeting, right on Barney's grave. That was a bit spooky, actually, as if Barney was telling them to be friends from beyond the grave.

Thanks so much to Binty and Sparklygem from Sheffield Forum for giving us the chance to adopt them. We adore them already :)

...So, so far then, I've found one fiance and two cats from forums...(actually Brian found me on a forum, not the other way round)...I wonder what's next, LOL :)

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Root Juice and The Other Shop. Nosh Stars in the making...

2007-06-04T15:58:00.000Z

Above, Melissa Holdsworth burning a tray of fairy cakes and pouting at the camera before slinging them across the floor.

Not really, as if Melissa would ever burn fairy cakes. Actually this is Melissa, with her mate Dan at this year's Sheffield Peace in the Park festival.

And this is Melissa's van Root Juice.

Above: Root Juice, the van Scooby Doo really wanted.

Actually it belongs to both Melissa and her business partner Adam, who have a new smoothy business called Root Juice, which they launched at the festival, held this year in Endcliffe Park, one of Sheffield's most beautiful and spacious parks.

There's a scene in my book STARBIRTH set in Endcliffe Park; that's how much I love it.

Melissa (christened by one of my mates "Mermaid girl" after he saw a picture of her stilt walking) and her brother Matt have both cut their teeth by working for their Mum and Dad's catering business, Masterchef, run by two of my dearest friends, Pat and John Holdsworth. Even though Masterchef is situated in the relatively quiet area of Attercliffe, every lunchtime there are queues out of the door. Could Melissa and Adam with Root Juice, and Matt and his girlfriend Shannon with "The Other Shop", get queues floating into the distance like Ma and Pa?

Yup.

THE QUEUE. It was like this for seven hours.

Here's Adam, looking very natty, and totally in control, making smoothies inside the rarified atmosphere of Root Juice's interior.

No disrespect to Adam, but I'm going to mention here that a friend of mine came back from a weekend in London last year and told me that everyone was dressing like pirates. I find this very interesting because 5 years ago, I made a flag to fly by our tent. It had a skull and crossbones on it and it said "Brian and Jude. Jolly Rogering." Childish, I realise, but we were mad crazy foolish in love. I remember saying at the time to Brian, "In five years time, skulls and crossbones will be everywhere and everyone will be dressing like pirates." Was I right? Indeed I was. I'm often wrong about loads of other stuff though. Anyway, I really liked Adam's get up.

Here's Matthew "Hot Stuff" Holdsworth, about to sell 400 onion bhajis, 200 spinach bhajis, 400 samosas, 8 gallons of lentil dahl, and thai vegetable curry made from 8 cases of coconut milk.

He didn't look like that the next day. He looked shell-shocked.

A bit like he does here, actually, with his cousin Zoe serving the nosh. Oh, Matt always looks cute, whatever expression he's wearing. I bet you've never read a blog article extolling the qualities of nosh stars before, have you? Well catering is the new rock n roll, along with computer geekery.

Look, all these people waiting for smoothies and bhajis and barbequed food. I'm not surprised, the food and smoothies were BRILLIANT.

Above, Shannon in charge of the barbie, which Matt and his dad John made from an oil drum cut in half with an angle grinder. Blimee, a burd in charge of a barbie. Mind you, Shannon's a Kiwi and they've got barbieing in their blood. Ordinary burds aren't allowed near barbies.

And here is Mathew and Melissa's little bro Josh queuing for food just like everyone else coz he's been well brought up. Josh is one of the UKs up and coming skating stars (boarding. not ice.) and I'm trying to persuade him to register at a model agency as he is incredibly photogenic. Josh and my daughter Jodie were best mates when they were tots. Here's a pic of them playing Tombraider from 1999 with my other daughter Hollie.

Back to the festival, and here's some more pics...

Above, me and my betrothed, Brian. Do they have fiances and betrotheds nowadays? I guess so. We're gonna get married soon, anyway.

Above, my super duper son Jasper Jed, with his best mate James. They've been friends since Jasper was a baby.

Above, me and another Nosh Star, Patsie Holdsworth, my best mate.

And here are a few pics of a really great band called I-Witness, a funk/reggae/hip hop/rude boy outfit. Saturday was actually my day off so I wasn't planning on taking pics, so these are just a few snapshots, I didn't have my photographer's head on really.

...note the people walking round the park through the arch window. I also like this shot of the audience's hands. The band went down really well, they're superb.

A couple more snaps. Brian gazing at the clouds, as you do.

This is the next day round at Pat and John's. The bamboo dangly structure behind Brian's head is one of Melissa's creations. She's one of the most artistic people I've ever met.

The festival was the best day out I've had for ages, and a vast improvement on last weekend, when we went camping to "The Field" in Derbyshire (a campsite owned by a really cool farmer called John, who lets you have open fires.) We had about three hours of fine weather and then it pissed it down. The next morning we all gave up and came home.

Above, me and my mate Simmo.

Above: Simmo, Bry, some friends of ours Nicola and Marie, and my lad Jasper, about ten minutes before it pissed down. Sometimes I curse the English weather for ruining occasions like this, but England's great when there's good weather and you're at a really good festival in your home town with your mates. It doesn't get much better than that.

Oh, and congrats to Root Juice, The Other Shop and the Peace In The Park event organisers :)

***

NEWS: MONOPOLY - VOTE FOR SHEFFIELD!

2007-05-14T14:02:00.001Z

There's only 10 days left to vote for which city in the UK is going to be turned into a Monopoly board! Voting ends on 25th May, details and voting are here:

Monopoly Vote

As of 9.07, Tuesday 15th, we're only 10 votes behind Exeter with Cambridge in the lead and St Albans second. Yesterday we were in 3rd place, so get voting!

When I say "we", of course, I mean the royal "we" ie Sheffield, the best city in the world, a city with a remarkable industrial heritage yet one of the greenest, most beautiful cities in England! A city with 150 woodland areas and 50 public parks, a jewel tumbling out of the Peak District, a glinting blade triumphantly thrusting its way from the bowels of the Pennines. (And you wonder why I haven't got an agent yet.)

No, seriously, Sheffield is brilliant, and we deserve to have our own Monopoly Board. And what's more, this is the first time ever that the public have had the chance to vote for their town! Normally it's decided by blindfolding one of Hasbro's directors and giving him a map and a pin.* This is much fairer.

*kidding

The Australians cast 16,866,491 votes for their version so, er, let's beat the Aussies and cast more! We're always trouncing them at cricket so let's beat them at Monopoly voting too! :) (I love Aussies really. Steve Irwin is my hero.)

Anyway, this is the thread on Sheffield forum about the votes for Sheffield Monopoly. If you want Sheffield to win, then get involved!

Click the pic below to go to the official Sheffield City of Steel MySpace.

***

4th Sharrow Lantern Carnival - April 1st 2007

2007-04-05T11:06:00.001Z

Above: Preparing for the carnival to explode into life. The lady in white awaits her audience...

I've just realised that being a writer is crap*, ie a 7 day working week, spending most of my time alone, and a salary of £00,000,000 per annum. (The number of noughts isn't random. I intend to fill them in with numbers at some point. )

*N.B For anyone in the publishing industry who's been burdened with the godawful job of researching me, to double check that I'm not just pretending I want to be a writer, I'm joking, OK.

So I thought it was time I had a night off. Last Sunday was the 4th annual Sharrow Lantern Carnival, and what a night it was! (Oooooh, I can feel myself coming over all proper journalist, like!)

No seriously, it was a really lovely evening. This carnival is in its very early days; I can feel it becoming massive in the future. I used to go to the Notting Hill Carnival in the early 80s, less than 20 years after its inception in 1964, and I can see the Lantern Carnival reaching those heights. Even though it has pagan roots, it's still coming from a similar place; a rootsy folky carnival-for-the-people place.

The carnival begins with a street procession at dusk, where children and adults wind their way through Sharrow and London Road, up past the Vine Inn (for a long time one of the best pubs in Sheffield) and into the General Cemetery to witness a Vernal Equinox Drum Circle. In the West, drum circles have developed into three main types: "culturally specific", such as Samba bands or West African groups, "facilitated circles" with drums from any culture, and "anarchic" circles - improvised communal drumming with no designated musical leader. There's more about drum circles here at Wiki if you're interested.

Above: An illuminated mushroom and a dead end road sign outside The Vine Inn.

The theme of this year's carnival was "The Enchanted Garden", hence lots of mushrooms. So, we need a full on Autumn version as well, really :) Maybe the Lantern Carnival could become bi-annual for the Autumnal Equinox as well as the Spring one, so we could have a Sheffield Mushroom Carnival in October. I think the council would welcome that idea, don't you? Mushrooms are one of nature's greatest inventions. Look at all these beauties. Awesome.

Anyway, back to the Lantern Carnival. Here we are just before dusk...

Above: a paper lantern tree frog dangling from a branch.

Above: A local bird hanging round in the cemetery in all her finery, waiting for someone to light her up from the inside.

Above: L to R Giles behind the drum kit, Chiv, Tim and Mimi in the fab coat.

Sheffield's "nine- or ten-piece, horns-front, hoof-stomping party beast " Bison, who are very quickly making a name for themselves across the north of England, setting up for a gig later on during the carnival. Sadly, I couldn't stay for this, as we'd already been invited elsewhere for later. Ya boo sucks. I will catch them live when I can.

Above: Trumpet player Tim in mid-flight. What a star :)

Then dusk fell, and the carnival began...

Above, L to R Mel and Laura, stiltwalkers.

Above: Giles from Bison. I didn't know who he was when I took this, I just thought "Hmm, interesting looking bloke having a look at some pictures he's just taken."

Above, the drummers in the Vernal (Spring) Equinox Drum Circle.

Above, one of the drummers in the circle. If this is who I think it is, will someone ask her to get in touch please!

Following are some pictures of the stiltwalkers Laura (with the illuminated wings) and Mel (with the illuminated horns.)

It was at this point, with the sound of the rhythmic drumming, that I really got into taking photos and forgot about what I was doing or where I was, so in keeping with the spirit of the moment, I won't interrupt these with words...

....And breathe....

After all that focus and energy, a tumultuous round of applause for the lady in white, finally lit up in all her glory...

And to finish up with, that carnival and festival stalwart, my ex-brother in law Mal with one of the recumbent bikes he designs and builds.

Above: Here he is when we bumped into one another at Glasto in 2004 :)

A little bit more about the General Cemetery:

The General Cemetery is currently undergoing much needed restoration. A map of some of the graves, and the stories behind them, can be found here. The one about the baby found in the drain has just made me cry. Brilliant. What a great way to start the afternoon.

The saddest grave stone for me, which is not included on the map, is the one for a woman who lost about ten of her children in fairly rapid succession to various illnesses and then died herself. You can find it under your feet as you walk round the bend above...

The General Cemetary has long been one of my favourite places in Sheffield. I used to walk my dogs there twice a day, and the disused Anglican chapel was the setting for some shots I took of the legendary climber Johnny Dawes conducting a one day workshop, instructing his pupils in climbing technique by illustrating various moves on the chapel wall. The article and pics are here. ("A Dictator in his Underpants." Issue 112 On The Edge mag.)

The cemetery is a beautiful place and only 20 minutes walk from the town centre, so if you're ever in Sheffield it is well worth a visit.

Above: My beautiful girls Jodie and Hollie in the General Cemetery, 1996

Thank you to everyone involved in the Lantern Carnival, it was truly a memorable evening, in so many ways.

***

Yorkshire's own Paul Sykes sponsors Eiger Expedition for Marie Curie Cancer Charity

2007-03-25T11:28:00.001Z

If you don't know who Paul Sykes is, pictured above, here's his BBC profile page.

He built one of the first out of town shopping centres in the UK, Meadowhall; by 1998 his firm Planet Online was the country's largest internet provider, and he is a major political voice in the campaign to prevent the result that many people fear: the UK becoming merely a cog in the giant Europe machine.

Just like Peak resident mountaineer and author Andy Cave, Paul started life as the son of a miner from Barnsley.

Talking of mountaineering, on Saturday March 10th Sir Ranulph Fiennes summitted the North Face of The Eiger, colloquially known as The Eigerwand. Guided by top alpinists Kenton Cool and Ian Parnell, the ascent was sponsored by none other than Paul Sykes, with the aim of raising one and a half million pounds for the Marie Curie Cancer Care charity, which provides high quality nursing, enabling terminally ill people the choice of dying at home, supported by their families.

I think this entire initiative is wonderful; the world's greatest adventurer, Sir Ranulph Fiennes, pitting himself against his fear of heights to summit one of the world's most notorious climbs - the North Face of The Eiger, accompanied by two of the world's leading alpinists, sponsored by one of Yorkshire's most successful and ambitious businessmen and politicians, all to alleviate the suffering of people who know they are going to die.

Yorkshiremen are often parodied for their no-nonsense speaking, and as one who has sampled various flavours of man but finally found bliss with my betrothed, Brian, who is the son of a Yorkshire gas fitter, I have now unequivocally decided that working class Yorkshiremen are like Thornton's chocolates...the very best.

I have just read out the above paragraph to my aforementioned betrothed, Brian. His verdict?

"Sounds a bit like arse-lickin' to me. An' arses are for shitting aht 'av, not lickin'."

Ooooh, I'll leave it in anyway; maybe he won't notice. Anyway, back to my article.

Here is a selection of YouTubes of notable comic portrayals of Yorkshiremen, from Monty Python's Four Yorkshiremen sketch to Harry Enfield's genius character George Whitebread, mercilessly taking the piss out of Charlie Higson's pony-tailed advertising executive, here presenting his idea for a bank called "Egg"....several years before the real Egg bank was even dreamed about.

And when you've recovered from watching those, there is more about the real Yorkshireman Paul Sykes here:

From Ayup! as in, "Ayup! If tha's got summat to say, say it!" - a celebration of Yorkshire folk. And as everyone knows, we've been campaigning for plain speaking since the conquering Romans fucked off back to Italy all those hundreds of years ago.

The following quoted section © Roy Stone from Ayup!

In a recent league table of the most powerful figures on the Yorkshire scene Paul Sykes was second only to Deputy PM John Prescott. William Hague, leader of the Conservative Party, came a very distant third. He has become the epitome of the angry man who has looked at the political scene and has decided that he has to put his tuppen'orth in. At great volume. Words like forthright, candid and outspoken are a bit too fancy for a man who seems to delight in speaking his piece. Dour, blunt and bluff, in the Yorkshire tradition, on the subject of Europe and the pound he can bore for England. He certainly knows some clog iron...

Sykes personal history is astounding. Son of a miner, dragged up in a south Yorkshire council estate and leaving school unqualified, his first proper job was grafting as a tyre fitter. In a blink of an eye he was breaking up buses and selling the in'erds to Hong Kong and making serious brass in the process. "Selling junk fer t' junks" people said as they passed the yard. By the nineteen seventies he was one of the richest young men in the country. Twenty years on, after moving into property, he was at it again. Along the banks of Sheffields river Don, surrounded by the ghosts of broken old steel mills, he built a glittering new retail centre called Meadowhall. Turning rusting metal into pure gold.

Now Paul Sykes is up with the big lads, organising major business conferences with the likes of Mike Firth, chair of the Yorkshire Food Group, and rubbing shoulders with such heavyweights as Northern Foods Lord Haskins and Asdas Alan Leighton. A short but typically profitable period running his Internet company - Planet Online - later and he's richer than ever and looking for new challenges. Recently he had a crack at running for parliament, standing as Conservative candidate for Barnsley Central. Trying to overturn a 20,000 majority in his home town in yet another long-odds venture.

But what is putting him on the national stage is his attitude to European monetary union. At odds with former Tory Chancellor Kenneth Clarke, and now with former Conservative Party colleagues including William Hague, he's finally decided to do things his own way. As the chairman of James Goldsmith's Democracy Movement he's now, whether he likes it or not, one of the country's leading political mavericks. It's a role he seems to relish. He's got an opinion - that the single currency is an immediate threat to this country's national democracy and must be stopped - and in true Yorkshire style he's not going to shut up and go away.

Like his political antithesis, Arthur Scargill, Paul Sykes has an abrasive manner that winds up friends and enemies alike. His attitude is that of a cornered man who simply cannot keep quiet in the face of what he sees as imminent national disaster. If this means getting peoples' backs up with a bit of plain speaking so be it. Maybe one day Yorkshire will provide a political voice that is gentle, persuasive, warm and winning. But Paul Sykes is forged from hard-tempered steel and hard-nosed business acumen. And he's a Yorkshireman. And you know what Yorkshiremen are like...

***

You can donate to The Marie Curie Cancer Care charity through their website here. The Eiger summit has been a tremendous initiative; congratulations to all involved.

Valentine's Day: I Love Sheffield. The Cutting Edge - Sheffield's Incredible Heritage Flows Forth

2007-02-14T08:32:00.001Z

Above: Artist's impression of The Cutting Edge.

Sheffield is world renowned as the centre of the British Steel Industry, but as we move further into the new millenium, it is cutting its way into the consciousness of the world as a centre for artistic explosion as well. I will refrain from using the hackneyed old term "artistic excellence" or any "excellence" for that matter. Sheffielders are more forward thinking than that.

Check this out.

Above: The Cool End. Pic by Russell Photog.

This is the new sculpture, The Cutting Edge, which has recently been installed in the completely redesigned Sheaf Square. Cutting Edge is a graceful blade of stainless steel which sweeps through the square.

Above: The Cool End, close up. My pic.

The Cool End, opposite the entrance to Howard Street, is a metre high, and lit by a brilliantly glittering circle of faceted blue glass. As the Edge sweeps down towards the station in an undulating wall of pure glassy stainless steel shine, it gains in height, cleverly obscuring the traffic behind it, culminating in The Hot End, a 4.5 high metre ellipse finished in an elegant slice of mesmerising red glass. These vertical panels of jewels were designed by glass artist Keiko Mukaide, whose work also features in the Millenium Galleries.

Above: The Hot End still with barriers surrounding it. My pic.

Above: Close up of The Hot End. My pic.

The Cutting Edge is designed so that during the day, it reflects the people and city surrounding it, but at night it seems to be suspended above the lights beneath it, hovering above ground level.

Above: The right half of the photograph is the station; the left half is its reflection in the wall of The Cutting Edge. My pic.

The main Cutting Edge structure was designed by a team of sculptors; acclaimed artist and silversmithing lecturer Chris Knight, Brett Payne and Keith Tyson, former head of design at the University.

Above: Reflection in The Cutting Edge.

Chris, who studied silversmithing and jewellery at the former Polytechnic and was nominated for this year’s prestigious Jerwood Applied Arts prize, said:

"The sculpture is designed to reflect the movement of the landscape and people within it. It will be lit from below, so it will appear to float at night and from the inside, it will be lit with cool blues and vibrant reds and oranges, giving it a glow evocative of the forges and furnaces that made Sheffield."

"Cutting Edge is an exemplar of Sheffield, a product of Sheffield; conceived and designed here. The name and form draw upon the city’s traditions and really celebrate resurgence of the metalworking industry. But it’s also a functioning piece of ‘street furniture’, directing pedestrians through the Square, protected from the busy road system."

Above: Ultramarine on Stone. My pic.

He added, "We hope Cutting Edge will stand as a symbol of the pride and strength of the city’s heritage and future. At one of the most important gateways, it’s an affirmation that in the 21st century, Sheffield still stands at the forefront of design in metal."

Above: Brett Payne.

You can read an interview with Brett Payne about the Cutting Edge on the BBC South Yorkshire site here.

In answer to the question, "What do you think the Cutting Edge represents?" Brett says:

"We think it represents Sheffield’s historic and contemporary ability, through the skill of its people and the power of its industrial expertise, to refine, to produce and to create objects of beauty, awe and worth. Cutting Edge stands as a symbol of the pride and strength of Sheffield. Plus, it's made of Sheffield steel. What better link with Sheffield could there be?"

Amen and beautifully expressed, Brett. :)

Price and Myers 3D engineering, a London based consultancy formed in 2001 by Tim Lucas, has built a reputation for engineering geometrically and structurally complex projects, and were responsible for the structural engineering, using Gehry Technologies' Digital Project software.

For those technically minded of you, here's Price and Myers discussing the design on the CenitDesktop news page:

The structure consists of 160 laser cut and formed panels which have to fit together within a 2mm tolerance on a supporting framework. "The sculpture progresses from a circular cross section to a pointed blade shape along its length. We used Digital Project to model each panel then, with the aid of design tables, we were able to repeat the panels over the surface of the entire sculpture."

The software was used to generate the development of all the curved surfaces into flat panels ready for laser cutting, and it was also used to create cross sections of the sculpture at one metre intervals to allow the fabricator to accurately build and check the structure. "We have found that Digital Project is very tolerant of large amounts of model data. We are able to add parts, and turn on and off elements of the design without any difficulty."

Above: Sheaf Square at night.

If you haven't yet seen The Cutting Edge, then it's worth a visit to this fabulous city of ours just to have a look. It is stunning. Congratulations to all involved; the town planners, the designers, engineers, artists, software developers...this piece of urban art is a fine example of the result of the collaboration of enthusiastic and energetic minds. Sheffield has done itself proud.

Above: The entrance to Howard Street.

Above: Howard Street, leading from Sheaf Square to the city centre.

Still in its wrapping paper, one of the beautiful illuminated bollards at the bottom of Howard Street.

***

Does Anyone Want To Buy The Rutland Arms?

2007-01-10T09:30:00.001Z

I've been hearing mutterings about The Rutland Arms being sold off by the council to build luxury flats for a while now, and of course I was frothing at the mouth, as the destruction of beautiful old buildings to create yet more inner city living is one of my pet grumpy old woman growls at the moment.

However on investigating the matter further (always a good idea if you're going to proffer an opinion on something!) I found out that what has really happened is that the landlord, Phil, has decided not to continue running the pub, and is trying to sell it.

OK the pub is actually owned by Punch Taverns, so the person buying the pub would be taking over the lease on the same conditions which Phil agreed to when he took it over in the first place. However, the right person could still make this pub work as a commercial venture as it is a beautiful building, with a fantastic beer garden, right in the very heart of Sheffield's Cultural Industries Quarter, 5 minutes walk from the railway station in one direction and 5 minutes walk from the town centre in the other direction.

The staff of The Rutland Arms have teamed together to put the following post on Sheffield Forum, on this thread about the closure of the pub.

rutlandstaff:

Hello to everyone who has been concerned about the Rutland and its imminent closure. We the staff, were informed by Phil, (the Landlord,) that it would be closed by the 22nd of December but after he had consulted with his legal advisors we have been told we can take bookings for rooms and the upstairs room until the second week of January. So sorry for any panic caused!

Phil has been trying to sell the pub for over two years now and it has fallen into disrepair which we hate as much as everyone else. Trying to reason with Phil to try and do work on the pub and garden has fallen on deaf ears. We work hard but find it so difficult when we have no beer, etc. Luckily for the person who posted about the rude Scottish man - he has left!

We wish we could keep the Rutland open but it looks like it will return to the ownership of the brewery - Punch Taverns, aka. the robbing b**tards! The problem is that Phil has to pay a ridiculous amount of rent which is based on business years ago when there were more businesses in the area. Therefore we cannot afford to pay it.

However when/if the business does go under the lease for the business will be able to be renegotiated so someone may be able to take it on feasibly! The rumours about it becoming a luxury block of flats have come from the staff musing miserably about the worst case situations as we have watched everything else about us become luxury flats including the old nightclub BED which was listed but the planners got around it by just keeping the facia.

Unfortunately for the person who wants all the 'tat' the staff can't even get Phil to sell them it so good luck to you!

Thank you to everyone who has worked so hard setting up the websites trying to save the Rutland but ultimately it needs someone to offer Phil enough money to buy it from him now. The pub has a late license, is one of the only pubs in the area with a beer garden, seven letting rooms, a flat, a room for meetings and a live music license. The area is being renovated and soon there will be a university campus next door which, if marketed in the correct way, will provide a constant stream of business!

I understand that many people love the Rutland like we do - there is nowhere in the world like it to us. I love the how busy it is on a Friday night and yet the tranquillity of a Sunday afternoon. The beer may be overpriced now, (referring to the Deuchars comment,) but a renegotiation of the lease could change all that and we could get in other beers and suppliers!

Obviously we don't know all the details, we're just the staff, but I thought I'd try and explain anything we know to help clear up some of the questions.

Following are the sales details from Punch:

Rutland Arms
86 Brown Street
Sheffield
S 1 2BS

You will require a Personal Licence in order to take on this business opportunity (England & Wales Only).
Please contact our Recruitment Team for more details.

Agreement Offered - Available via business transfer, for further details contact the leaseholder on 0114 2729003

Directions / Pub Profile - Located in the centre of sheffield. This landmark site sits in a huge redevelopment area of sheffield benefiting from new housing, retail units and cultral venues. The pub has a high reputation for cask ales and also an established daytime food trade. Awp & Swp machines recently added generating a new income source. The Rutland is situated in a prominant position on Brown Street in the city centre close to The Leadmill nightclub and within 10 mins walking distance of the railway station.

Trade Areas - The Rutland is a quality established site right in the centre of extensive city centre redevelopment and is close to the hustle and bustle of Sheffield Hallam University and the bust train station. The main trading area comprises one large traing area with a central bar severy and plenty of comfortable fixed seating. Upstairs is a decent sized function room that could be developed as either additional letting rooms or retained as a function room. On the top floor are 7 fully equiped letting rooms which again could be redeveloped and taken more upmarket to reflect the changes happening in this exciting area of Sheffield. There is an extensive beer garden to the rear of the property which is an excellent selling point and one of the few gardens in central Sheffield. This area for many years has been known as an oasis in Sheffield and could provide an excellent solution to the forthcoming smoking ban.

Private Accommodation - One Double bedroom, lounge, kitchen & bathroom.

Finance Required

Ingoing Figures/Rent
£ 1 Approximate Fixtures & Fittings
£ 2,500 Approximate Stock & Glassware
£ 2,500 Working Capital
£ 6,000 Deposit
£ 995 MLR Training Fee (Mandatory)
£ 75,000 Transfer Premium
£ 2,500 Approximate legal fees/valuation/court
£ 89,501 Total Ingoings
£ 48,352 Annual Rent Guide
£ 28,000 Rateable Value
Other fees required for Lease - Survey & Stamp Duty

Trade History
Total beer deliveries
Last 12 months TBC
Previous 12 months 272 brls
Approximate Machine Income
Last 12 months TBC

Rutland Arms MySpace

What is really needed now is a someone to take on the pub and run it. Someone with a bit of vision. There must be somebody out there who could do it!

I hope so. Sitting in the rose scented garden of The Rutland Arms on a summer's evening, surrounded by other artists, filmmakers and musicians, all talking energetically, laughing and smiling, has been one of the highlights of my summers for many years now.

***

by Jude Calvert-Toulmin.

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner / New Year's Day Address 2007.

2007-01-02T14:38:00.000Z

Edith Piaf. Non, je ne regrette rien.

When your belief and determination in your chosen pursuit is such that finally you break free of the pack, it is like leading a marathon, in public. The people on the sidelines will behave in different ways.

Many of them will cheer and support you. A core of loyal friends will be nodding sagely and whispering "I knew she could do it." One or two known for their cruelty will have pushed their way to the front and be waving, trying to catch your attention with their false smiles and offers of poisoned pies. There will be those who claim to be your greatest supporter, whilst attempting to distract you with lies and bullshit. Others will bear witness to the race, then go away and lie about what they've seen. Many will be fluttering flags of warmth and love. A few will be tutting and muttering "She should give up this running lark and go and get a proper job." The odd one will be sneering, hands covering their mouths as they gossip about you. Some will be fainting with delight at the sight of you passing by. Envy will rip the mask of friendship from the faces of a few as they now stick their feet out in an attempt to trip you up, shouting “OK you’ve got nice tits but I’m a better runner than you!” Some will appear at every checkpoint, intrigued, spying on you through proxified cloaks of invisibility, wishing to hide their presence. Others will throw you water, openly blow you kisses and sing out promises of undying adulation.

You took counsel from the wise before you set off running, but now you ignore the crowds. You even ignore your goal. All that matters is the beat of your heart and the rhythm of your feet as you run, and run and run. You no longer heed the adulation or criticism of others, for the running consumes you.

One day you will pass the finishing line, having won your race. The prizes and the adulation matter not.

All that matters, is the running.

***

No, nothing.
No, I regret nothing.
Neither the good done to me, nor the bad;
to me, they're all the same.

No, nothing at all.
No, I regret nothing.
It's all paid for, swept away, forgotten;
I don't care about the past.

With my memories,
I've lit a fire.
My sorrows, my pleasures,
I need them no more.

Swept away are my loves
and all their tremors.
Swept away forever.
I start from scratch.

No, nothing really.
No, I have no regrets.
Neither the good done to me, nor the bad;
to me, they're all the same.

No, nothing.
No, I regret nothing.
Because my life, because my joys,
today, begin with you.

Non, rien de rien

Non, je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait, ni le mal
Tout ça m'est bien égal

Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
C'est payé, balayé, oublié
Je me fous du passé

Avec mes souvenirs
J'ai allumé le feu
Mes chagrins, mes plaisirs
Je n'ai plus besoin d'eux

Balayés les amours
Et tous leurs trémolos
Balayés pour toujours
Je repars à zéro

Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien, qu'on m'a fait, ni le mal
Tout ça m'est bien égal

Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
Car ma vie, car mes joies
Aujourd'hui, ça commence avec toi

Happy Christmas 2006

2006-12-24T18:37:00.000Z

On the 19th December Brian and I were driving out to Derbyshire and rounded the bend at Surprise View to see a stunning cloud inversion over the Derwent Valley, so I jumped out of the car to take a pic. A magical end to a magical year. Happy Christmas everyone :)

Harry Enfield's Yorkshireman - Pride in God's Own County!

2006-12-15T08:15:00.000Z

The Ubiquitous, Inimitable, Influential Harry Enfield.

Broadcast in the early 90's as a sketch in Harry Enfield's Television Programme, The Yorkshireman is my very favourite comedy sketch of all time.

It gives the finger to a society which was only just beginning to be dominated by hypocritical political correctness, and in that respect was way ahead of its time, paving the way for Paul Whitehouse and Charlie Higson (who at the time were just tea boys on Harry's programme), Matt Lucas and David Walliams (Little Britain, directed by me old mukka Matt Lipsey), David Mitchell and Robert Webb (Peep Show), and last but of course not least, Stephen Merchant and his assistant, Ricky Gervais. And is it a coincidence that four years after the show, a bank called Egg was actually formed? I think not. Harry Enfield is a visionary and deserves a knighthood in my opinion.

The character of George Whitebread is a sexist, racist, homophobic pillock but somehow you've got to love him for standing up to media people who are so far up their own arse they can see the sun shining into their gobs.

He announces himself by declaring: "Ah say what ah like and ah like what AH BLOODY WELL SAY!"

And of course he enunciates what could possibly be the most immortal line in comedy history:

"Don't talk to me about sophisticayshun, luv, ah've BEEN ta Leeds!"

Priceless.

For those of you offcomers (ie anyone outside Yorkshire) who think Yorkshire is all about Emily Bronte, above is a picture of a real Yorkshireman, my partner Brian, from Pudsey, near Leeds. His opinion on Sheffield?

"Sheffield's not proper Yorkshire! It's almost in't bloody Midlands!" Yes, he says what he likes and he likes what he bloody well says! He also says "Fancy a shag, luv?" and "Can yer write? Oh, she's a clever lass, in't she?" and of course "Go and make a cup of tea, there's a good girl."

Ooooh I love him :)

pps To those of you waiting for my blog entry about my musical history - I'm on a techy forum being advised by some lovely boffins regarding transferring Video 8 to digital as I want to put some footage of a Venus Tree gig onto YouTube. It looks like it might involve my aquiring new software and all sorts of shenanegans so be patient!

EDIT: Brian has just told me about a Python sketch I've never previously seen and lo and behold it's on YouTube.

This is one of the funniest pieces of subversive comedy I've ever seen. The working class father is a successful playwrite living in Hampstead, whilst his educated son has moved to Barnsley to become a coal miner.

It's amazing that this sketch isn't more well known, it is sheer class. The father, played by Graham Chapman, admonishing his son, played by Eric Idle:

"Hampstead wasn't good enough for you, you had to ponce off to Barnsley, you and yer coal mining friends!"

And the mother, played by Terry Jones, pleading for understanding once the father starts to lose it:

"You know what he's like after a few novels."

Miss this at your peril!

Eeee, YouTube. Never 'ad that in my day. Don't know they're bleeding well born these youngsters.

Which reminds me. Here's The Four Yorkshiremen sketch co written and performed by Marty Feldman, John Cleese, Graham Chapman and Tim Brooke-Taylor for the The Python team for At Last The 1948 show.

And here's a version performed live at The Hollywood Bowl in 1982, by Graham Chapman, Eric Idle, Terry Jones and Michael Palin. It doesn't get much better than this.

Finally, last but not least, and thanks to alchresearch over on the sheffield forum for introducing me to Hale and Pace's Yorkshire Airlines sketch, another brilliant parody of the Yorkshire mentality.

Note to offcomers: The green stuff is mushy peas. It's what we eat every day in Yorkshire. If we're lucky.

***

Peak Vets Open Day

2006-12-07T10:05:00.000Z

Above: my son Jasper having his afternoon nap, guarded from wolves and monsters by Porky and Kevin.

We've got two old moggies, Towser (12) and Barney (16), but currently no dogs, as one of our dogs, Porky, an English Bull Terrier, was stolen in Endcliffe Park four years ago, and the other, a mongrel called Kevin, ran off when a friend was walking him in Derbyshire at lambing season. I haven't got over losing my dogs yet but when I do, I may get another one, although as any pet carer knows, you can't replace a pet who is gone.

Above: Towser and Porky chilling out.

When we need to use a vet, we go to Peak Vets, near the bottom of Olivet Road (it's actually number 36), Woodseats.

It's run by vets:

Greg Firth, and

Steven Goodyear, as well as vetinary nurses

Sharon Jenkinson

and Emma Wilder.

I can't praise this practice enough. I admire anyone who works in the vetinery profession, but Peak Vets has something very special about it. They give a level of personal care that is rare anywhere nowadays.

This Sunday 10th December, Peak Vets are having an open day so you can see for yourself what I mean. It's between 12 and 5pm, and it is what it says on the tin - an open day. You can see what the surgery looks like beyond the waiting room, where your pets stay when they visit, and find out what goes on in an operating theatre. As well as tours round the practice there will be mulled wine and mince pies (YESSSS!), face painting, competitions for children and adults and a Santa's Grotto.

Above, my daughters Hollie and Jodie with Tiger-Lily (RIP) and Towser, in 1994.

I found out about this open day through the Peak Vet newsletter which is more like a burgeoning magazine than a newsletter. It's beautifully produced, well written, friendly and classy all in one. It fits in perfectly amongst our other magazines which comprise National Geographic, New Scientist, Viz, Vanity Fair, Singletrack (mountain biking mag) and BIRDS (RSPB mag).

Above: my daughter Jodie with Kevin and Porky.

The funniest part of the Winter 2006 issue is the "How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?" section. Whoever wrote that really understands dogs (and cats!)...I'll reproduce a couple of them here:

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Boxer: Who cares, I can still play with my squeaky toy in the dark.
Beagle: How many biscuits do I get?
Border Collie: Just one, and I'll replace any wiring that's not up to standard.
Cat: Cats don't change light bulbs, people change light bulbs. So the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect light?

Hur hur hur :)

Peak Vets also offer the following:

Free nurse clinics run by Emma and Sharon, including clinics on Dental care, Arthritis management, Weight management, Diabetic management and Nutritional management.
Nail clipping and expressing anal glands (ewww! Needs must, though!)
Puppy socialisation classes (I may suggest they start running these for teenage girls as well.)
Special offers on microchips, flea treatments, vaccinations, boosters, worming programmes and other drugs.
Free treatment of indiginous wildlife.

The Peak Vet website is here- a really well laid out and easily navigated site.

If you have a pet, then Peak Vets on Sunday is the only place to be in Sheff. We will be there :)

NEWS

2006-11-29T11:57:00.000Z

This is what DJing's all about really, isn't it, creating a chemical reaction by mixing up the right combination of elements in a sequence that will cause lots of frothing and fizzing. It's all about being a Scientist innit?

(...actually, one should never have to have an excuse for posting a sexy pic of a woman in a nurse's uniform, but there ya go :)

This is just to let those of you living in the centre of the climbing and music universes,

that Tim and James, who run Sheffield's wonderful Seven by 7 night, are at The Plug this Friday, 1st December.

This is from their newsmail:

We've got a Seven by 7 at the Plug on Friday 1 December
with special guest including Wolfgang Fleur (kraftwerk).

As usual, there'llbe special cheap entry flyers for the Seven by 7 faithful. On the 7th,
Carter und Rico take over hosting duties at our usual Seven by 7 at the
Forum and present a line up of vinyl vixens.

Finally, on Saturday 16 December, Seven by 7 goes to the Climax Xmas Glitterball. We'll be taking over the Interval Bar at Sheffield Uni Student Union for our Christmas
special (i.e. the one where we wrap up rubbish records and give them away).

x James & Tim

to DJ at Seven by 7, email: iwant2play@sevenby7.co.uk

James and Tim, in my opinion, are two of the coolest blokes on the Sheff music scene. Seven by 7

ps for those of you who hate animated gifs, I promise I will not put them in my main blog entries, I will confine them only to exhuberant news entries, OK? ;)...oh whoops, I posted an animated gif photograph in the last blog entry about Bob Geldof on my main blog didn't I? (For those of you who haven't read it, it contains some pics I took of him for Melody Maker in 1982 which have never been previously published.)

Oh well, I'll try hard not to overuse animated gifs, but if you are a regular reader of my blogs you will realise that I have a tendency to get carried away...

pps I am working on a new blog entry about my time on the turn of the eighties music scene for the main blog. I will try and post it today, (Wednesday 29th Nov) but I have to get to the vet as well so it may be up late.

By the way, the vets I use is probably the coolest vets in the known universe and it's Peak Vetinery Practice run by Greg and Steve, two of the nicest vets I've ever met. They also treat indiginous wildlife without charge. Now how cool is THAT!

Greg and Steve have even got profiles about themselves on their website! :)

Sheffield Fright Night - The UK's biggest Halloween street party!

2006-10-30T11:22:00.000Z

Above: Melissa Holdsworth in her "Evil Butterfly" costume.

Last night was Sheffield Fright Night, the UK's BIGGEST and BEST Halloween street party!

I've got to be honest here, I didn't go in my capacity as a photographer; I went to see my best mate's daughter stilt-walking in her amazing scary EVIL BUTTERFLY costume.

As I'm a complete lightweight when it comes to drinking nowadays, and I knew me and me mate would be going for a drink, I didn't want to risk taking my good camera, and dropping it or leaving it on a bench or whatever, so I took these with my little Pentax Optio 330GS.

Above, THE DRAGON (Helen Watson, left) and THE MAN-EATING PLANT (Laura Shanklin, right) outside Cafe Nero.

Above: THE EVIL BUTTERFLY scaring her mum Pat in front of the kind of park bench on which I would have left my best camera after a couple of glasses of Chardonnay.

The EVIL BUTTERFLY and DRAGON being very very scary indeed in the terrifying Winter Gardens on a truly scary and bone-shattering Fright Night! It was greeeeeaaattttt!

Be very scared men, be VERY scared!

***

By the way, the three gals, Melissa, Helen and Laura, are available for hire in their stilt costumes to turn any event into something truly spectacular! Bonfire parties, Halloween parties, Christmas parties, Emo weddings, Barbeques, Corporate Entertaining, you name it, they'll do it! These talented little ladies also do fire poi and fire staffs (special fire juggling sticks) - I've seen 'em and I'm telling you, they're good at it! :) Ring 0789 443 001 for details.

***

Thanks Sheffield City Council, you ROCK! :)

***

Adam and James - Sexy Sheffield Beasts!

2006-10-07T19:59:00.000Z

I first heard about Adam and James through this thread on sheffieldforum, a local forum for local people. People were raving about their videos on YouTube so I checked them out and thought the vids were just about the best thing I’d seen for ages on the net. Here's a selection:

The Roneys video (about Roneys, the free range butchers and sandwich shop on Sharrow Vale Road)

The Girders video (about building sites)

The Tesco video (about the Abbeydale Tesco)

The qualification for being worth my while at the moment is anything of quality that is not up its own arse, which is a great way of sorting out the pearls from the dross. Adam and James are definitely worth my while, which is why I decided to meet up with them in our local pub, The Porter Brook, on Sheffield's Golden Mile, to do an interview.

Here’s how they introduce themselves on their trilogyofsexy MySpace page:

Do you like shopping at Tesco? How about eating pork sandwiches? Sitting around doing fuck all? Well so do we!

Welcome to the world of Adam & James!

Adam and James, good friends since 1996, formed their 'musical unit' in 2003 and have been pushing the boundaries of what most people term music in Adam's bedroom, butchers shops and even some local pubs ever since.

From the outset Adam and James have opted out of traditional 'clever clogs' subject matter in favour of a more lighthearted (but by no means less sincere) songwriting approach. We tackle the issues which matter to us like eating, dicking around, going to Tesco, world peace and building sites rather than love, death and other such tired topics.

Great! I love building sites and world peace! My kinda guys! Let’s go! :)

Jude - Did you see the thread about you on Sheffield forum?

James – No!

Jude – It’s great! Everyone loves your stuff!

James – I’ll have a look. I go on a building site forum…

Jude – I heard one of you works on a building site. Is that you, then?

Adam –He just made that up!

Jude (turning to James) – Oh did you? I was really impressed as well!

Adam – Neither of us works on a building site. We just have the gear.

Jude - (looks impressed)

Adam - He works for Caterpillar trucks. Building site related. I’m doing product design at college. But I did an internship for Lego over the summer.

Jude (jaw drops) How cool is that, designing for Lego! Anyway, I think you’re very talented and you’ll both go far if you want to.

Adam – We’re just two ex-school kids who sit around the living room, but a lot of people have said that we should do more stuff together.

James – We phoned Look North.

Adam – They weren’t interested. But we've said that if we were going to do anything, now’s the time to do it. There’s definitely a Sheffield thing going on at the moment.

James – Ultimately we’ve always had a laugh doing these videos. When we started making them it was to sell to our friends. We didn’t think they’d really sell but they did! Then we made more and sold them at gigs and after show parties, and then put them on MySpace and YouTube.

Jude– So how far do you want to take this?

Adam – As far as anyone will pay us (smirks).

James – We thought Tesco might be interested. That didn’t work. But we’ve got 3 CDs, a 3 track single and now we’re working on album number 4 “Sexy games with Adam and James”. Every album up till now has had the word “sexy” in it. At first we thought we were just going to make one album. We didn’t realise we were going to be doing 4 or 5.

We took the themes and made them a little more ridiculous. Between “Sexier Than Thou” and “The Joy of Sexy” we did “Christmas time with Adam and James” which I believe is still available to buy at Roneys because they didn’t sell any. It was an outrage. We sold 20 "SexierThan Thou"s in Roneys. People took a chance on that. And they never came back for the second one. Roneys customers are obviously more intelligent than your average punter.

Jude - So are you more interested in the music or the filmmaking? Who’s the filmmaker?

James - He’s the filmmaker.

Jude – Did you go to film school?

Adam – No. I was in Hong Kong and I thought, "That video camera looks cheap, I’ll buy that and make a video." I just thought it would be funny.

James – We didn’t make videos for the first 3 albums, but we’ve done some of old songs from previous albums.

Brian (my partner) – Are they all your songs then?

James – Yeah

Brian – Who’s the guitarist?

James – Both of us. Adam’s the pianist.

Adam – I almost stopped playing guitar. I did lessons from when I was about 10, but between about 12 and 15 I just went through that stage where you can’t be arsed to practice and it became like a chore so I kind of stopped. Then in the 6^th form me and James formed a band called “Paul Darby and the Three Wise Men”.Paul Darby was the drummer. But not wise.

School produced the CD which was coordinated by Jim Lockwood, the geography teacher at High Storrs school. He was a guitarist for a Sheffield band years ago, called Ginger, very Supergrass style. Good geography teacher as well. All the school music was just orchestra and choir; if you played the guitar you weren’t included. He recognised that, and gave normal people a voice.

Jude - In The Quest video at the beginning you’ve got all these close up shots of clicking gear into place…

Adam - Inspired by "Commando" with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Jude - I like the way it takes the piss out of that whole close up shots of gear thing.

Adam - (Drily) It's not taking the piss. It's more paying respect.

Jude – Did you edit it on iMac?

Adam – No, I did it on my ropey old PC.

James – All the music recording is done in Adam’s bedroom on a little electronic 4 track recorder.

Jude – Is it more about the music or the filming?

James – The music. The filming just gives it an added flavour.

Jude - So how many live gigs have you done?

Adam – We’ve done somewhere between 5 and 10 I suppose, but they’ve all been primarily for our friends, friends’ parties…

Jude – What do you think about doing bigger gigs?

James - I’m not sure if it’s anything more than a joke...

Jude – I think it is!

James– Well I’m an absolutely dreadful singer. Adam can’t play the keyboards. We’re not very good at guitar.

Jude – Yeah but it’s got chemistry.

Adam –I think half of the charm of that bedroom floor stuff is like we always get the words wrong, or I start laughing half way through a song, and if we went to rerecord it, it would all be lost. It has to have that sort of piss take feel about it.

James - If we were doing it properly we’d have to make sure the guitars were in tune.

Jude – I’m not necessarily saying that the area where you’ll find success is in songwriting or performing...

Adam – Children’s entertainers?

James – We could become clowns!

Adam – Like Andy the clown!

Jude – Andy the clown is one of Sheffield’s icons. I saw him in the queue at Netto once.

Adam – What, dressed up?

Jude – No. With normal clothes on.

James- Netto?! Have you not been listening to our music at all?!

Jude – Yes. I do use Tesco. But I usually shop at Morrisons and Netto.

James and Adam - Morrisons? Ooooooh (tutting sounds) Bloody hell fire!

Jude – I have paid my Tesco dues though. I went to the Berkeley precinct Tesco for 10 years. I knew all the staff.

James – It might spoil the myth but we’ve actually both turned against Tesco now. I go there because it’s cheap but it’s lost its charm. It was all about knowing everyone in there. It was like a giant version of Cheers.

Adam- I still like going to Tesco. Three in the morning is the best time to go.

James – There’s a 24 hour Tesco over the road from the house where I’m living which is partly the reason I chose to live there. It annoys me when they don’t stock what you want though. If the issue was shelf space, they could get rid of the pet food aisle. I never use that. Even if they just got rid of all the cat food.

Adam – I like the cat food aisle.

Jude – Are you a cat lover then?

Adam – I just like eating cat food. It’s cheaper than chicken.

Jude – (taking him seriously) Lots of people do that. Eat cat and dog food.

Adam – (quickly correcting me) I’d like to point out that I don’t actually eat cat food.

James – Yeah I can see the headlines. “Sheffield media star eats cat food”

Jude - And then the arguments on the forums! "Which variety cat food tastes the best, Felix or Arthurs!"

Adam – I like “Iams” YARMS.

Jude - Okaaaay. So what are your musical influences?

James – One of our fans said our music is like a cross between Bob Dylan and Bob the Builder.

Jude - Someone on YouTube said you’re a cross between Alan Partridge and Bob the Builder.

James - I think Partridge is probably the biggest influence.

Adam – Another influence is Atom and His Package

(check out the Atom and his Package hate mail page. This is also one of the funniest things I've seen on the net for a long time.)

Jude - Who are your local heroes?

James – The Chuckle Brothers, from Rotherham, and Brian Blessed, also from Rotherham.

Jude – The one who tried to climb Everest? (What I really meant to say was, "You mean the third dan Judo black belt, that great English actor, the son of a Yorkshire miner, who climbed Mount Blanc at 17, who has successfully climbed many mountains including Mount Kilimanjaro and Aconcagua and heroically reached 28,000 feet on Everest, to which I believe he refers by its original Tibetan name of Chomo Longma? ")

James – Yeah.

Adam- I saw him doing a lecture at Hallam University and it was one of the most awesome things I’ve ever seen. They played a clip from Flash Gordon and he burst through the door roaring. He roared for about 2 hours, my face hurt so badly from laughing, he was so cool.

Jude – So, local heroes. What about Phil Oakey?

James - I saw Phil Oakey in GT News in Banner Cross in about 1995.

Adam - Was he shoplifting?

James - Not quite. I think I was second in the queue at the counter buying a Double Decker, and he barges to the front of the queue, and I start getting a bit cross, but being a small child, I decided not to take him on or do anything worse than giving him a glare, and he said “Do you know who I am?”

Jude - Ooooh he didn’t. Really? I’m shocked.

James - I don’t know if he’s still like that. I’m not saying he’s a bad guy. Maybe he was in a hurry.

Jude - Anybody who says “Do you know who I am” is a baddy.

Adam - Jarvis Cocker has got to be a local hero. And also Ken Jones. He was my art teacher at High Storrs school.

Jude - Have you got any gigs coming up?

James - We might do a Christmas party

Jude - That’s a great idea. You can hire out the Bar Matrix I think.

James - That’s too upmarket for us. We need nylon carpets and a choice of either John Smiths or Carling at the bar. One pound fifty a pint. The last gig we did, we came on stage in those fluorescent safety suits with glow sticks gaffer taped all over them.

Jude - Brilliant!

James - Yeah. We were absolutely glowing in the dark.

Jude - Cool. All you need now are firemen’s uniforms to get the female audience.

James - We’ve got the female audience!

Jude - I’m kidding. I've seen the babes on your YouTube and MySpace. I’ve got a thing about firemen that's all. I’m a woman. Are Roneys still selling your CD by the way?

Adam - I don’t know. But if you don’t get one of our CDs you’ll get a really nice sandwich. One of my friends went in there and didn’t know what to have, so she said “Can I have what Adam and James have?”

Jude - And they knew?

Adam -Yeah.

Jude - Cool. One day Roneys might start doing an “Adam and James Special”. That’d be better than winning a Mercury! That’d be the sign that you’ve made it!

Adam - One of our friends wanted to be an honorary boy in our gang so she had to do challenges. Like jump off a big wall. One of the challenges was to eat two Roneys pork sandwiches. Large. One takes about an hour. And she did it.

James - We made her jump off the wall afterwards.

Jude - If you had an interview in a music paper, which one would you choose?

James - Not NME. We’ve had a review in a fanzine called funkyasfudge.

After that we start talking about things I promise not to blab about online, so for now, that’s a small sample of the world of Adam and James.

Instead of giving me chocolates or flowers, like most of the pop icons I've interviewed in my time, Adam mails me a pic of a building site, knowing my fondness for them.

In return I send Adam a picture of the Liebherr LTM 1500-8.1 which of course has the world's longest telescopic boom, and was parked down the road from us just recently!

Sexy.

The Big Crane - Building the Newfield School Bridge

2006-09-18T13:05:00.000Z

What's this big b*gger doing in our neighbourhood then?

It's a crane! A big one! And it's not any old crane either, it's a 500 ton Liebherr LTM 1500-8.1 84m boom, which is the longest telescopic boom in the world.

COR!

It was here over the weekend being used in the construction of the new bridge between Woodland Road and Newfield School.

This is the road in the process of being built.

...and above, here's a wider shot. The man walking the dog is on the old bridge which is only suitable for light traffic, and will, after work is completed, be specifically for pedestrian use only.

Here's a big girder being lifted into place by the 500 ton monster crane!

The crane in action again.

Below: The construction workers. These are the guys who are the lifeblood of our societies, who are out there at weekends in all weather, building our towns for us. I take my hat off to them.

Here's another shot of the crane.

I asked one of the construction workers if it was OK if I took some pics, and he said "Do you like cranes, then?"

It was this guy on the right, wielding the angle grinder. And I said to him, "Oh yes sir, I certainly do like cranes. Especially five hundred ton big boys like this one." He and his colleague found this very amusing.

But I'm serious! It's not only two year old boys in pushchairs who like heavy machinery, I can tell you. Check out this shot from underneath, phwoar! :)

Below, a close up of the wheels.

And here's some serious hardcore chains.

Below: After all the hard work is over for the day and the crane is fast asleep.

The crane was provided by Crane Services who were very helpful on the phone during my enquiries, thankyou! :)

***

The Runaway Girl Club - There's A New Kid In Town

2006-07-14T09:18:00.000Z

Above: The Runaway Girl

***

Way back in 1993, if you went for a drink on Ecclesall Road you had one choice only - a traditional pub.

Then Herbie Armstrong arrived (that's him on the right of the pic, with Kenny Young) and everything changed. He opened The Slug and Fiddle pub, the best new funky, happening live music venue that Sheffield had seen for a long time.

Herbie already had a long and illustrous career behind him in the music industry. He was a guitarist and vocalist in the band Fox with Noosha Fox in the early 70s, then went on to form a band called Yellow Dog with Kenny Young. He played Northumbrian Bagpipes on Mike Oldfield's Ommadawn, and in the late 70s and early 80s was the guitarist in Van Morrison's band, touring with them and appearing on several Van Morrison albums.

In 1993 Herbie opened The Slug and Fiddle next door to The Pomona.

I happened to live on Pomona Street, right behind the new bar, and introduced myself to Herbie whilst renovation work was going on prior to opening. Herbie immediately offered me a job on the bar staff. Due to Herbie's input The Slug and Fiddle was an immediate success; Herbie brought in live bands on many nights of the week, and after the pub shut for the evening the acoustic guitars would come out and staff, musicians and assorted friends would often end up chatting and jamming on the sofas.

Herbie went on to open The Boardwalk which is still going strong, and is now running The Fountain Inn in Rowland's Castle, East Hampshire.

***

But it was at the Slug that I met Justin Rowntree, to whom I've referred as the New Kid In Town, because I believe that's what he is (no offence to The Herbster, natch!)

Justin and I were both working on the bar at the Slug but quickly became friends. He was a terrific barman, and his knowledge of, and interest in music immediately won my respect. Besides, my little daughters loved him.

Above: Justin with my gals.

Above: Justin, my gals, and our mate Toby, back in '93

Above, Justin (far right) with some of the Slug and Fiddle bar staff in '93.

Above, me (centre, short blond hair) with some of the bar staff on New Year's Eve '93.

Well...this is Justin now. The proprietor of Runaway Girl, one of the coolest live music venues Sheffield has seen since...oooh, probably since The Slug and Fiddle actually.

Every night there's either a DJ or a live band; the reguarly updated listings are here. There's a varied selection of music genres depending on which night you visit:

Monday - Reggae
Tuesday - Soul/Northern Soul
Wednesday - World music
Thursday - Funk/Soul
Friday and Saturday - underground House, Soul and Dance.

(Please note - Sundays Runaway Girl is not open!)

Justin admits that he was inspired by what Herbie did with The Slug, and it's wonderful to see him succeeding in creating something equally as wonderful with Runaway Girl, only seven months after opening.

The pictures say it all:

The Runaway isn't only about music, it's also about excellent food.
A selection of dishes that got my mouth watering from the awesome A La Carte menu (see website for full details) -

Lobster Ravioli £5.00
Lobster ravioli served in rich roasted garlic
and tomato sauce with a splash of brandy!

Lemon Chicken Won Ton Salad (N) £6.95
Full chicken breast, marinated in lemon on an oriental
salad including a bed of bean sprouts and bok choi drizzled
with a spicy dressing and finished with crispy wontons.

Smocked Haddock Lasagna £10.95
Poached smoked haddock with Portobello mushrooms,
buttered green asparagus sin a creamy mascarpone
sauce finished with fresh chives truffle oil and parmesan
cheese.

There is also an extensive Tapas menu (woo yay!), including such traditional Spanish fare as:

Chorizo & Pepperanata
Fried chorizo with cooked peppers and capers.

Calamari in Spicy Tomato Sauce
Slices of fresh squid tubes in our own spicy sauce.

Some other great features:

Dietary Requirements
Please let us know about any specific requirements (e.g. halal, vegan, wheat-free, nut allergies)

“Fast Track” Service
Pre-ordering “fast track” service is available at lunch and evening pre-theatre services

Free Wireless Internet Access
Have a working lunch or use our facility at anytime of the day that suits you.

Bottomless Coffee
£1.50
Buy one cup of filter coffee and have as many refills as you like.

***

Runaway Girl is also available for meetings and conferences:

Above, a CIQ meeting (Cultural Industries Quarter, Sheffield's media and technology movers and shakers.)

***

A toast to Justin Rowntree! (hey, there's even a Rowntree's Fruit Pastilles Cocktail on the Cocktail menu!) Happy musicians...

And happy customers...

This place is going to run and run and run....

***

Thanks to photographer James, below, for many of these fab shots!

Please check out the Runaway Girl website for full details and more pics!

INFORMATION:

The Runaway Girl
111 Arundel Street
Sheffield
S1 2NT

Tel : 0114 270 6160

For all enquiries on any aspect of food or entertainment at The Runaway Girl please contact Justin Rowntree:

The Runaway Girl, 111 Arundel Street SHEFFIELD
e: contact@runaway-girl.com
t: +44 (0)114 270 6160
m: +44 (0)7974 005 065

Abbeydale Grange '75 -'79 Reunion

2006-06-17T14:08:00.000Z

Below: Tez (Mark Terry), Jane Hodgins, John Bradbury and me down Millhouses Park, not far from the Lido, in the early summer of '77.

Many apologies fellow Yorkshire lads and lasses for not updating this blog previously, but I've been away in the Costa Blanca on me 'ols, and maintaining my main JCT blog was enough of a palava!

Anyway, it's school reunion time again in sweltering Sheff, and this time it's the Abbyedale Grange Reunion for anyone who was in the fifth or sixth forms between 1975 and 1979.

Michael Barrows, above, affectionately known as Bonehead, is organising the whole shebang, and what a good job he's done so far! I know how much work is involved in organising a school reunion because I was part of the team organising the Silverdale class of '75 reunion back in '98.

This was in the days before emails were widely used, and well before Friends Reunited, so we met once a month for two years and did everything by snail mail and phone calls. The team involved, btw, were Sarah Kent and Jamie Harrison (ex Silverdale then High Storrs 6th form), Nicky Fletcher, and the following from Silverdale and Abbeydale 6th form: me, Boney (Ian Clayton), Mutley (Andrew Moore) and Andy Coulton, who was the unofficial boss, as he always was at school, mouthy git! ;) I will be posting a separate blog entry about that reunion another time in the near future! :)

Below I will be giving details from the Friends Reunited Grange '76ers 30th Reunion page, and also a link to the Abbeydale Grange 76' ers blog. But first, here are a few reminiscences from my time in the sixth form, leaving in 1977.

Above, Mr Gledall's class of '77. That's me centre front (natch!). Above me, Keith Hutchinson, footy and cricket team captain (I think!) and occasional party snogging partner of mine, is mercilessly taking the piss out of me, as usual! :)

This is me and one of my best galpals, Jane Hodgins, standing just beyond the refectory looking as sweet, seventeen and innocent as we were (no honest! we were!)

This is our class chilling out on the grass near the refectory in the sunshine. Mr Gledall is pushing me away because I'm being a pest.

That's me in our back garden, a right cocky little madam.

And that's Tez down Millhouses Park with Gegs aka James Gregory, attempting to play bowls.

***

I was a bit naughty in the sixth form. During the last week of term I took half the football team down the Lido for the afternoon, and below was the result. A stern letter to my poor beleagured parents from Mr Massey, may he rest in peace (cause he and Mr Fielding certainly didn't get much whilst I was in the sixth form!)

25 June 1976

Dear Mr and Mrs Calvert-Toulmin,

This afternoon your daughter did not attend afternoon registration when terminal reports were handed out and also absented herself from school without permission. By spending 4 periods in Millhouses Lido she showed a total disregard for school rules and acted in a manner which can only be described as irresponsible.

I feel it is necessary to bring the matter to your attention since under such circumstances the school cannot exercise proper control and supervision of students who are not on the site.

One even calls into question whether, with such an atttitude, continuance in full time education is really worthwhile. I would suggest that you contact the Director of Sixth Form Studies in order to discuss the matter with him.

Yours sincerely,
Headmaster.

Well, despite the worries of all concerned as to whether, with such an attitude, continuance in full time education was worthwhile, I ended my formal education with 10 "O" levels, 4 "A" levels, and a BA (Hons) degree in Graphic Design/Film and Television Production.

Only I disobeyed as many rules as possible and had lots of fun whilst doing so ;)

***

Back to my outrageous behaviour at school; my loving and responsible parents gave me a right verbal bollocking and they did indeed contact Mr Fielding.

These are some of the notes my father made during the meeting.

One of the few who was not made a prefect. Fear that she may not conform too well.

Now this is particularly interesting, because when I had cause to go into the staff room one day I noticed a chart on the wall where all the teachers had ticked the names of pupils they thought would make good prefects. I had so many ticks I was in the running for deputy head prefect. Ha! :)

Continuance of disregard of basic rules will lead to adverse testimonial which would affect either future employment or University.

Well, I sailed through Poly, and my main employment since my late twenties has been being a parent on the whacking salary of £00,000K p.a. All this stood me in good stead. I taught my kids to do what they thought was right, not what they were told to do by others.

*Erratic:
Offers help with goodwill and a smile - but doesn't willingly conform to abide (sic) by the school rules: - dress - uniform - in the minority probably ¼ of school members in 6th form. BUT follows school programmes well, AND generally doing "all right".

Translated by my father during the debrief as "You're in SERIOUS trouble young lady." Oh my poor parents having such a loser for a daughter! ;)

***

Anyway, enough of my granny-like reminiscences about the old days. Here's the beef on what's happening on the 1st of July! Woo Hoo! :)

Here is a link to the reunion blog: Grange '76ers 30th Reunion
where the reunion team will be uploading information and updates. You can also go along and post your own thoughts and start making contact with old friends prior to the day. Head over there and make a comment on the comments section, your input is important!

I do hope to be there myself, but my daughter is due to give birth the week after so I may be in Manchester becoming a granny! Whatever, I am certain the reunion is going to be a complete hoot. Many thanks to Michael and the rest of the organising team for taking the trouble to bring happiness to so many people.

Below are the details from Friends Reunited.

Organiser:	Michael Barrows	[Contact]
Date:	01 Jul 2006
Venue:	Abbeydale Grange Upper School
Abbeydale Grange Upper School LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE… OK folks, The countdown has now begun to that historic day in July….no stooopid, NOT the World Cup Final on 9th July, I’m talking about the Grange ‘76ers 30th Anniversary Reunion Party on 1st July! The Abbeydale Grange Reunion Committee (AGRUC) have been beavering away over the last year to put this event together and now, after many months (well… at least a couple of weeks anyway!) of planning, preparation and negotiation, we can now announce the (almost) full details. Lots to tell you so, without further ado: **************************************************** WHO IS INVITED: Anyone who: 1.Was in the year that completed the 5th Form in summer 1976 2. Was in the year above (5th Form 1975) 3. Was in the year below (5th Form 1977) Or anyone who: 4. Was in the year that completed Upper 6th Form in summer 1978 5. Was in the year above (Upper 6th 1977) 6. Was in the year below (Upper 6th 1979) Ex-teachers ************************************************** EVENT DETAILS: · Date: Saturday 1st July, 2006 · Venue: Abbeydale Grange Upper School · Time: 18.30 – 12.30 · Ticket Price: £12.00 · Dress Code: Smart-casual · Features: Food, drink, music, dancing, raffle, entertainment, comparing of bald patches and beer bellies (and that’s just the women!), lots of laughter, probably a few tears, plenty of moaning and introspective musing on wasted lives, possibly the odd punch-up, maybe a bit of flirting, endless cries of “where did all the years go?,” …and much more. Sounds great – can’t wait!! ************************************************** TICKET DETAILS: Tickets are available from: 1. Jencel Beads & Jewellery, 621 Ecclesall Road, Hunters Bar, Sheffield, S11 8PT., tel: 2. Yvette Hallam; tel: ; work: ; mob: 3. Michael Barrows; tel: ; mob: ; email: mwbarrows[at]yahoo.co.uk 4. Graham Bennett: tel: , Mobile You can: 1. Buy tickets direct from Jencel Beads and Jewellery 2. Send a cheque for £12 to any of the other names above – contact them for address details. 3. Use Paypal - contact Michael or Graham for details Tickets available by post or as an E-ticket. ************************************************** WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU: 1. MONEY! Get in contact and get your ticket asap. We have made all the arrangements – now we need to get an indication of the numbers coming asap so that we can finalise the food and drink. 2. RAFFLE PRIZES! Let us know if you have any raffle prizes you can donate for the evening. Beg, steal or borrow any you can. We will be holding a raffle to help cover the cost of the event. Any surplus will be donated to Charity. 3. PHOTOS! We want to put a dvd together, with photos, possibly some video diaries and other stuff, that we will make available to everyone. Bring your old photos – don’t worry, you’ll get ‘em back! 4. HELP! We desperately need some volunteers to help on the day with decorating the hall, dealing with the food, signing people in, clearing up afterwards, etc – all the usual event management stuff. Get in contact asap if you can help out. 5. NOISE/ACTION! Tell all your old mates, dig out your address books and call the people you haven’t spoken to for years. Pass this email on. Get the word out and tell people to get in touch and buy their tickets. Better still, buy their tickets for them! Also let us know if you know the whereabouts of any ex-teachers. We’ve made all the arrangements, but the event will only be as successful as YOU make it, so get busy! ****************************************************

THE END - Psalter Lane Art College Graduation Show

2006-05-28T11:19:00.000Z

On Friday night a few hundred people turned out for the private view of the Psalter Lane Art College Graduation Show, The End. No, this isn't the queue to get in. It's part of Linda Bevan's performance art piece, where she gets rolled up in a long length of corrugated carboard, which is kept in place, due to the high wind, by several dozen fellow art students dressed in fluourescent vests, and invitees to the private view.

Some of you non arty farty types out there may well be thinking "What an arty farty waste of time". Well, you'd be wrong.

One of the functions of art is to stimulate the viewer (or in this case participants, for that what the audience were) into thinking about whatever issues the performance may raise in their minds.

For me, it made me think about homelessness, and I haven't stopped thinking about homelessness ever since, and it's now Sunday.

(That's Linda's feet. She's rolled up in the middle of the cardboard.)

It may not have been Bevan's intention to provoke thoughts about homelessness.

But that is one of the beautiful things about performance art.

As long it creates an atmosphere,

and provokes thought,

it has worked.

Inside the art college, two gals watching Damon Waldock's "Untitled, stills from performance to camera."

Back outside again, and I'm pretty sure that the lad in the front is Damon himself, helping out Linda Bevan with her own piece.

This show is billed as "A collaboratively curated group show of new work by graduating artists."

For me, what shone through about the entire show was indeed the sense of collaboration and group participation.

No one person emerged as the star of the show. Everybody was the star (OK, if you want to be pedantic, some shone brighter than others, but that's life.)

To get an idea of the many other wonderful exhibits, which include painting, sculpture, installations, drawing, photography and other media, check out the catalogue.

THE END is open Sat 27th May to Sun 4th June, (except Mon 29th and Tuesday 30th May) 12pm-8pm Mon-Sat, 12pm-6pm Sundays (Private view Friday 26th May) at Sheffield Hallam University, Psalter Lane, Sheffield. All events are free.

Here is an article from my other blog about the artist Tony Hines, who is exhibiting at the show.

Many thanks to Hester Reeves, lecturer in Fine Art, for welcoming me and being so helpful and friendly.

***NEWSNEWSNEWS*NEWS***

2006-05-26T11:33:00.000Z

Woo hoo! It's dip show time of year again and another chance to head off to Psalter Lane Art College.

This is now a part of Sheffield Hallam University, but to Sheffield artists it has always been, and will always be, Psalter Lane Art College, even when the council sell it off and shift all the artists to Pond Street.

Yes you heard right. In a couple of years Psalter Lane Art College will be no more. The council are selling it off, I don't know to whom, but the possibility exists that it will be to developers so that they can build yet more huge apartment blocks for bachelors. So instead of Psalter Lane being highlighted by the wonderful Art College, it will instead be dominated by (yet more) "Inner City Living". Great.

Maybe that is why this year's final year show is called "The End", because The End, for Psalter Lane Art College, is, tragically, nigh.

However, for the moment let us focus on the matter at hand.

On the website for The End show you can view the entire catalogue beforehand, how cool is that? :)

Here is the blurb from the home page to give you an idea:

THE END

A collaboratively curated group show of new work by graduating artists.

Over sixty of Sheffield Hallam's graduating artists will be exhibiting new works spanning a broad range of approaches and exploring diverse subject matter through drawing, painting, sculpture, photography, video, sound, interactive performance and installation.

The artists are collaboratively curating THE END, their final exhibition at the University. This will involve new and innovative uses of the gallery spaces and the organisation of a series of public symposia and events taking place in a dynamic social space.

The social space has been set up as a forum for discussion and dissemination of the artwork, as a meeting point for visitors and exhibiting artists and as an archive of reference material selected by the artists.

On Wednesday 31st May and Saturday 4th June 2006:

Mark McGowan - performance artist

Mark Hutchinson - artist, writer and curator

Rob Gawthrop - Director of Hull Art Lab

Paul Sullivan - architect and Director of Liverpool art organisation, Static

JJ Charlesworth - regular writer for Art Monthly, Modern Painters, Art Review, ArtText and Flash Art

Jennifer Thatcher - Director of talks at the ICA

Sophie Hope - of B+B, curatorial partnership

have been invited to discuss themes including transitions, institutions and collaborative curating.

This project is being developed in collaboration with Mel Jordan - local artist and writer and AL tutor in Fine Art and Dave Beech - artist, writer, curator and Course Leader in Fine Art.

THE END is open Sat 27th May to Sun 4th June, (except Mon 29th and Tuesday 30th May) 12pm-8pm Mon-Sat, 12pm-6pm Sundays (Private view Friday 26th May) at Sheffield Hallam University, Psalter Lane, Sheffield.

ENTRY TO ALL EVENTS IS FREE

I will be attending the private view this evening and reporting back over the weekend so watch this space!

Getting Your Road Closed To Rat-Runners

2006-05-21T11:08:00.000Z

When I moved from Pomona Street to Fulney Road in 1995, one of the first things I noticed was the traffic during the morning and evening rush hours. The volume didn’t bother me too much. But the speed did.

During the rush hour, there are inevitably long queues of traffic at the junctions of Hangingwater Road and Oakbrook Road. I realized that car drivers were using Fulney Road as a way to avoid queuing at the lights. This is hardly a cardinal sin, but they were also racing down Fulney Road as fast as they could in order to re-enter the flow of traffic on Oakbrook Road further up the queue as a way of cocking a snook at other drivers. Believe it or not, this kind of behaviour entertains some drivers. But their entertainment was putting at risk the lives of many local residents.

The houses on Fulney Road are large, Victorian four bedroom houses, mostly inhabited by families rather than single people or childless couples. I worked out there were enough children living on the road for these rat-runners to pose a serious risk to life. The local residential home for the elderly was also a worry, as elderly people had to cross Hangingwater Road to get to the nearby Bingham Park.

I decided to do something about this. Within two weeks of moving in, I had dropped a note into every house affected by the rat-running, on Fulney, Frickley and Westwood Roads.

The response was overwhelming, and the majority was positive. Dozens of neighbours knocked at my door offering help, and within another few weeks we had formed a committee to plan a campaign to get Fulney Road turned into a cul-de-sac.

I printed up unobtrusive little flyers for residents to put in their windows saying "We support the closure of Fulney Road" and most houses displayed them. You can just about make one out in this pic, it's the little white square on the top left pane.

A group of us met up once a month or so over the next few years…yes, it took that long. This was in the days before the widespread use of emails, forums and websites.

There was resistance from one or two of the local shops, the owners of which were, understandably, worried that blocking Fulney Road to through traffic would deter shoppers from visiting the area.

A meeting was arranged at the Town Hall and a spokesman for the shopkeepers put their case forward, whilst I put forward the case for the residents committee.

The councillor running the meeting, Councillor Hesketh, appeared to have already decided the outcome prior to its taking place. Voting happened in seconds, with the other councillors appearing to me to be voting on pre-determined instructions. The vote was unanimous. Fulney Road would not be closed to traffic, but an experimental scheme would be put in place with the road being made one way instead.

At this point I accused Councillor Hesketh of bullying his colleagues into a pre-determined vote. Hesketh went very red in the face and shouted “Get that woman out of here!" The meeting was pretty much over and done with anyway, and whilst we were all filing out a local reporter rushed up to me and said “That’s the most exciting thing that’s happened here for ages!”

The Sheffield Telegraph ran an article with the explosive headline “Housewife accuses Councillor Hesketh of being a bully”, the pilot scheme went ahead and, three years later, Fulney Road was finally closed to two way traffic.

There was a minor drawback to all this. When I first initiated the campaign to get the road closed, anonymous hate mail started arriving through my letterbox on a weekly basis, always with the same erratic spidery handwriting.

The weirdness of these letters escalated over the next few months. From instructing me to hang my knickers in the window, (I know, bizarre, eh?) eventually I was threatened with my house being set on fire. I figured out over time who the mystery letter writer was; I won’t name her, but she was an elderly lady who had several part time jobs in the community and was seemingly a pillar thereof. A friendly visit from the CID, warning her of the severity of threatening to set neighbours' houses on fire, put an end to her campaign.

Who knows what would have happened had the road not been closed off? Every morning and evening cars were bombing up and down it at way over 35mph. After the road was made one way, drivers seemed to just avoid it as a rat-run.

The moral of the story is, don’t be intimidated. If you believe in a cause which will help your local community, go for it. The result you get may not be exactly the one you were aiming for, it will not happen overnight, and it almost certainly won't be plain sailing, but if you want to make your community safer, with a bit of determination and an ability to laugh in the face of batty laydeez making death threats, you can.

Sheffield City Council

The White Rose Of Yorkshire

ShAFF - Sheffield Adventure Film Festival 2008: Feb 29th - March 2nd

Journey To The Edge - World Premiere

20 Seconds of Joy

Urban Freestyler - Free Running - World Premiere

Inner Balance

Climber

The Beckoning Silence by Joe Simpson

Runaway Girl Wins Best Bar Food at Sheff Bar & Club Awards

Beefy's gone missing

64. The Chef de Pâtisserie / My Seducer of Women Chocolate Tarts

We've adopted two cats through Sheffield Forum!

Root Juice and The Other Shop. Nosh Stars in the making...

NEWS: MONOPOLY - VOTE FOR SHEFFIELD!

4th Sharrow Lantern Carnival - April 1st 2007

Yorkshire's own Paul Sykes sponsors Eiger Expedition for Marie Curie Cancer Charity

Valentine's Day: I Love Sheffield. The Cutting Edge - Sheffield's Incredible Heritage Flows Forth

Does Anyone Want To Buy The Rutland Arms?

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner / New Year's Day Address 2007.

Happy Christmas 2006

Harry Enfield's Yorkshireman - Pride in God's Own County!

Peak Vets Open Day

*****NEWS*****

Sheffield Fright Night - The UK's biggest Halloween street party!

Adam and James - Sexy Sheffield Beasts!

The Big Crane - Building the Newfield School Bridge

The Runaway Girl Club - There's A New Kid In Town

Abbeydale Grange '75 -'79 Reunion

THE END - Psalter Lane Art College Graduation Show

*****NEWS*****NEWS*****NEWS*****NEWS*****

Getting Your Road Closed To Rat-Runners

NEWS

***NEWSNEWSNEWS*NEWS***